Let me tell you a story…

When Lisa met Bryan, she felt a strong attraction for him right away. Bryan was bright and warm. As time went on, Lisa’s feelings for him grew stronger and she knew she was falling for him. Although Bryan was friendly and open, it was simply hard to tell if he felt the same way for her. Lisa was eager to know how Bryan really sees her and where their relationship was going. At the most opportune time, she opened up and confessed her true feelings for him.

Bryan’s response seemed positive at the start. For weeks, he was still the same guy Lisa used to know – warm, affectionate and thoughtful. It was as if their friendly relationship had good promise and would flourish. But as months passed, he saw her less and less. Bryan’s calls became less frequent. Soon enough, he was gone…

Notice that Lisa’s affection for Bryan seemed to have been reciprocated and their relationship was spectacular in the beginning and yet, it ended as quickly as it started. Lisa’s story illustrates one of the common pitfalls of women who lay out all their cards at once to men they are particularly attracted to. Women, with their romantic nature and intense emotions, tend to be blinded and usually fall into the illusion that there’s a magic spell to make someone love them in return. Love doesn’t work that way. One can’t force someone to love them (or at the very least make someone like them!). Just like what happened between Lisa and Bryan, the man may carry on for a while. Obviously, he wouldn’t want to hurt his friend’s feelings after all the good memories they’ve shared.

If you share the same predicament as Lisa had, it’s really hard to accept if the object of your affection doesn’t return your feelings. But you have to realize that the most amazing feelings you could ever have is when you are in a relationship that’s real. And it’s real only when love is returned freely. Understand that the guy could be comfortable with the friendship situation at the moment, and just isn’t ready to get intimate. Or perhaps in spite of your deep feelings for him, he really doesn’t see your friendship blossoming into something romantic.

Of course he can be frank and tell you right away that he likes you – as a friend, which is tantamount to saying there’s really no chance (at least at the moment) for your relationship to go the way you’re hoping. If he says that, you could get hurt just the same. Hurting your feelings is the last thing a real gentleman (and real friend) would do. That’s why the good men almost never say anything.

You can’t really tell your man’s true feelings without getting hurt, unless you hold on for a while with that friendship and find out. You’ll know nonetheless. That is, if you trust your intuition and learn to read his cues. Don’t just be too eager to find out and make the mistake of scaring him off, if you still haven’t done so. You can still be the same trusted friend he used to know. Take pleasure in the opportunities that will open up in your friendly relationship. You’ll never know what’s going to happen next. I guess that’s the fun of life!