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Are We Getting Older Or Younger?

by kphirst

By 2030 the number of older Americans will have doubled to 70
million. That's 1 in every 5 Americans. That's why anti-aging
information is often on the evening news. What isn't there are
aging women. There are no female counterparts for Walter
Cronkite, Dan Rather or Charles Gibson. Is it just me or is this
sexist ageism? Is it just me or is there a one-word explanation -
man-age-ment?

Yes, we're flattered when people tell us we don't look our age;
but what does forty or fifty look like these days? I'd like to
see a skin care model that looked older than twenty-five. In
fact, I'd like to see pictures of models before they've been air
brushed. Although my grandmother always said to just look
yourself, it helps if you like what you are looking at.

I like looking at an ice-cold martini and new research has shown
that shaken martinis are healthier than stirred martinis. They
have more age-fighting properties. According to a chemist at
University College London, shaken martinis contain more
anti-oxidants. Because anti-oxidants prevent cell damage, they
prevent aging. James Bond always insisted on his martinis being
shaken - which may explain the longevity of his success.

My husband and I recently discovered that the longevity of the
Love Boat's success is explained by its popularity with older
passengers. There's nothing like sea air and being surrounded by
older people to make you feel younger. We had both the ship's gym
and walking track to ourselves because our fellow passengers
spent most of their time eating breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and
late snacks. During the 10-day cruise 4,268 lbs. of meat were
consumed, as well as 9,923 lbs. of vegetables, 14,373 eggs,
12,028 lbs. of fruit - and 67 lbs. of prunes. You know you're
traveling with an older crowd when prunes are listed separately
from fruit.

To find out how old I am in virtual years, I took an on-line
test. According to the test, longevity and vitality are
determined by lifestyle, activities and health - not just by age.
Because I'm at an age when that sounds good, I answered 35
multiple-choice questions ranging from health to happiness; and
was surprised to find out my virtual age is 25 years younger than
my actual age. I also found out that my life expectancy is 101.
Obviously, I'm not getting older, I'm getting better - at taking
tests.

KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
<a href="http://knightwatch.typepad.com">Take a minute to make
yourself smile</a> at 
http://knightwatch.typepad.com

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