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Divorce Ain�t Cheap... Three Things You Can Do To Avoid It

by Myla_Madson

I�m not a big fan of lawyers because they usually need to be
hired when things are going wrong and in my opinion, only add to
the misery. The retainer alone for a typical divorce is between
$2,500 - $5,000 dollars, just to get the ball rolling.

When you go through a divorce, your finances are going to take a
huge hit, even when you don�t take into consideration the fifteen
grand the attorneys milk out of you. And finances are often the
cause of marital turmoil in the first place, so divorce only
compounds the problem.

A recent pole was conducted on what topic most couples fight
about the most often. Well of course money, or lack there of, won
the pole. And it wasn�t even close!

Fighting and worrying about money are the two most destructive
things couples practice with religious regularity in most
marriages. Every fight or worry takes a bite out of the
relationship and leaves it�s mark until there�s so much
bitterness and hatred for the other person, it would be
impossible to ever reconcile the marriage even if the lack of
money suddenly no longer existed.

Lack of money can be a temporary thing, but the caustic emotions
and venomous insults hurled at one another during the experience
can last a lifetime and be impossible to recover from. I suppose
it�s possible but I�ve certainly never seen it done.

With this in mind and assuming for the moment you have not
crossed these invisible boundaries, here are three things to
consider when a woman decides to entertain the discussion of
dwindling finances with her man:

One - Believe in him. More than just about anything, men crave
your support. Especially if you are having difficulty with your
finances and things are not going exactly as planned. The
absolute last thing he needs is a critic, he already knows things
aren�t as they should be. He knows he�s stumbling and in danger
of losing sight of his hopes and dreams, he certainly doesn�t
need you piling on. He needs your support and encouragement. If
he sees you have lost faith in his ability to provide, he will
quit, his spirit will be completely and utterly broken and there
will be no chance of pulling out of this downward financial
spiral.

Two - Be kind. Men are fragile creatures whether you want to
believe that or not. If you disagree with a course of action your
man has taken and you think you have a route that may lead to a
better result, try and guide him back on course instead of being
forthright and critical. Remember how you treat a new friend when
your opinions differ and how diplomatic and considerate you are
of that person�s feelings, your man deserves the same respect.
And limit your criticisms to the things that really matter. If
everything he does bothers you, why are you with him in the first
place? Perhaps it�s time for a self evaluation.

Three - Be tolerant. Your man is not a work in progress, quit
trying to change and mold him into something he�s not. Accept him
for who he is and encourage his interest and needs, even if they
seem immature or a waste of time and money. Men need alone time
as well as time with their guy friends. Just as you need to get
your nails and hair done every two weeks, he needs to golf or
have a beer or two with his buddies on a regular basis.

Trying to change a mans behavior is an absolutely horrible and
cruel thing to do. You would not want him to consider you a
�diamond in the rough� and constantly try to polish and shape you
into his ideal version of what he thinks you should be, would
you? If his behaviors are a complete turn off and are financially
ruining you, once again I ask, why are you with him in the first
place?

These three considerations will go a long way in smoothing out
some of the relationship bumps, but if you are no longer able to
even consider any of these suggestions, maybe it is time to
consider calling it quits. Divorce ain�t cheap though. It�s
emotionally and financially devastating to both people involved
and should be considered carefully.

You can pick up a wonderful guide at my website to help you
decide if divorce is the right decision for you, and should you
decide that it is, this guide can literally save you thousands of
dollars in costly mistakes you can avoid during this trying time.

For anyone considering leaving a relationship or getting a
divorce, got to <a
href="http://www.grapevineassociatesinc.com/divorcedecision1"
title="http://www.grapevineassociatesinc.com/divorcedecision1"
target="_blank">http://www.grapevineassociatesinc.com/divorcedecision1</a>
for more info. Myla Madson is a relationship expert and founder
of the popular women�s website <a
href="http://www.abrandnewyou.org"
title="http://www.abrandnewyou.org"
target="_blank">http://www.abrandnewyou.org</a>.

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